During a recent training session,
a participant made an intriguing comment:
“If I criticize my colleague’s
opinion, they will be offended and think I am rude. So even if I disagree, I
don’t voice my opinion.”
What struck me most was how she
equated sharing an opinion with criticizing. Since the session was women
centric, I gently challenged her: “Do you think your male colleagues would
offer you the same courtesy?” Unsurprisingly, she admitted they wouldn’t. This
led to a deeper conversation about self-imposed biases and societal
conditioning—topics for another time.
But her comment lingered and made
me reflect: Have we, in our pursuit of politeness, lost the ability to express
dissent?
As children, we’re often told to
"not speak when adults are talking," to follow what others are doing,
or to accept decisions made by adults without question. These early lessons,
intended to maintain harmony, often morph into lifelong habits. We nod in
agreement when we don’t agree. We stay silent to avoid “offending.” We suppress
our opinions to maintain harmony.
And in doing so, we may be
trading authenticity for acceptance.
This leads to an unsettling
question: have we, as a generation, sacrificed our ability to share independent
opinions and, in doing so, diminished our creativity? It’s a form of
hypocrisy—pretending to agree, nodding along, all while feeling internally disconnected.
More troubling is the possibility
that this trend could pave the way for a dystopian future where dissent and
individuality are stifled. Our current political climate, filled with echo
chambers and censorship, confirms this concern.
As an experiment, I asked a few
colleagues, “What’s your opinion of yourself?” Eight out of ten began with,
“People say I am…” Even I’ve done this—defining myself through others’
perceptions rather than my own voice.
As a mother, this realization hit
hard.
Am I unintentionally stifling my
child’s creativity and individuality by urging him to “be polite,” “write like
others,” or “play like others”? Shouldn’t I be encouraging him to think
independently, to question, to express—even if it means dissent?
Dissent, when rooted in respect
and honesty, need not be rude. In fact, it can foster creativity, innovation,
and authentic growth.
